Is that shocking? For the person who named her startup DFYNorm (read DEFY NORM) to say- Don’t defy the norm.
Well for starters, defying the norm has always been my life’s expression. Especially whenever I realize that what I want to do, no one else would do, that it would be too crazy to consider, and it does not conform with the trend, then I just have to do it! And revel in the feeling of it. The boldness and the challenge of it. My inner cheer leader would be thumping me on saying- You GO Girl!
And yet I can tell you, that when you defy the norm purely for the sake of defying the norm, things can get quite dysfunctional in your life.
Defying the `Norm never should be an unconscious process- Being the rebel for the sake of being the rebel. Going against the grain for the sake of going against the grain. Because hey, it is cool. Because it gets you a longer second of attention. You have to double check if you have ADHD or something 😉
Some people go quite the extreme with this idea of going against the grain in an unconscious way and lose all connection to their self. When unconscious, it can be quite self-destructive.
Defying the norm is not another mask you pull over yourself. An excuse to press pause on your real life, to stop you from feeling/living where you are.
Because what it really is is an unmasking and an explorative process. It is about getting curious about who is the person that you are. Who are you?
Some times, you defy the norm (expectation) because you are acting out against some form of oppression. Blindly. You are angry about something you must deal with that is unfair to you. And you act out by doing exactly what you are not supposed to do.
Acting out in this way makes you feel good; it compensates for the hurt/negative feelings that arise as you deal with the issue you wish you didn’t have to deal with. What you do have to be careful though is to act in your own best interest as much as you can.
Ha I would have shared some of my own stories if they weren’t so completely classified.
At one point, when I was so “Angry”, acting out got me into so much trouble and I ended up harming myself for no good reason other than just getting the high out of an “oppressive” situation.
Then again, sometimes, you have to take several wrong self-destructive turns in life, lose yourself many times, keep finding and losing yourself before you get a sense of who you really are.
In that knowing,you find purpose and meaning and courage to live a life that matters. In that deeper knowing, you create magic. You experience LIFE as it is meant to be experienced.
That is what Defying the Norm is about!